I remember my childhood, when I was a confused and tortured soul trying to get out of a very sheltered life. I remember my adolescence where ironically I spent some very liberating years at a boarding school being a self-proclaimed cool gangster kid. I remember my varsity days, when I thought I was the smartest human being on this planet, yet many a time I was proven wrong and fell flat on my face. Yes I remember it all with much clarity.
Yet, I can’t for the life of me, remember what my boss told me to do right before he went on leave for the CNY holidays. Or, who that idiot was who still owe me RM200.00 from my chambering days. Or, who borrowed my book, Harry Potter and The Goblet Of Fire! (This is the missing piece in my collection – I SWEAR, IF I GET MY HANDS ON THE BUGGER…..!!!!!)
Ehem, swaying off track here... ANYWAY,
Memory is a tricky thing, isn’t it? You remember things you want to forget. You forget things you want to remember.
I guess I am remembering a whole lot of things from my past as yet another birthday is approaching. Could this be a mid-life crisis that I am headed for? It is way too early for such thing, unless of course, if I’m fated to die before retirement age,... Gosh, kind of morbid, don’t you think?
Let that not be true. At least let me have my mid-life crisis at a time when I am secure enough financially to take a year off work to go gallivanting around the world and buy a Porsche when I come back thereafter. And not to mention, undergoing liposuction procedure somewhere in between in order to fit into those skimpy bikinis they wear on the streets of Rio (whoops… should I even mention that?).
For the time being, let me just figure out how to achieve that multi-million dollar income before my hair turns grey (because grey haired women don’t look too good in bikinis).
Anyway, I think the fact that I am reminiscing a lot these days has nothing to do at all with mid-life crisis. It’s probably just vanity. When you reach a certain age, you want to feel good about yourself in every way. And if you don’t, even if it’s just a tiny little thing that bothers you, you tend to reflect on your past trying to find reasons for why you turn out the way you do. In fact, more often than not, people do that to find someone to blame for all their shortcomings.
Yea, it’s easier to try to pin it on someone else for all the things I don’t like about myself. I blame it on the weather. I blame it on the rain. I blame it on my Mum for feeding me too much till I can’t fit into those bikinis!
ENOUGH WITH THE BIKINIS ALREADY!!