Monday, April 09, 2007

Old Job New Job No Job

I have a pile of files on my table and 28 million urgent things to attend to, but somehow I am inclined to just sit in front of my PC and mull over what to write on my blog.

My boss is gonna walk in any minute now and check whether I have attended to this and that and I am not even concerned of how I am going to bluff him.

What’s the matter with me?

I remember feeling this way last year when I was thinking of leaving my job then. I couldn’t bring myself to resign at that point, but my actions somehow indicated that I wasn’t gonna last much longer there. It was as if I was daring my then boss to fire me.

Alas, he never did, no matter what I did, not even after that shouting match I had with a client, for which he ended up being called a monkey when he tried to break it up.

I finally resigned not long after that. And now, barely 5 months into this new job, I feel like quitting again.

It seems that I am destined for a perpetual nomadic existence. I just can’t settle down, stay put and grow with a firm. I always have to look for something new. For me, it’s always exciting to start a new job, and then after the novelty dies in the next few months, I’d be raring to make a fresh start elsewhere.

Perhaps it is because of my short attention span. I get bored of things easily. As a kid, I would be playing with my doll in one minute and with my toy plane the next (yes, I had toy planes and cars – was a bit of a tomboy then, still is) and I would be out of the house playing with the cats before long.

I’m still like that now. Like last weekend, when I was in the mood to read, I read the third chapter of The Templar Legacy, then I started reading the first page of The Rules of Life which I just bought and then I continued reading Saving Fish From Drowning which I started months ago and never finish. And before 15 minutes is up, I’d look up from my books with a baffled look on my face trying to separate the all the characters and information in the three books that I’ve just read which had inevitably become infused in this tangled web that is my brain.

Unable to separate the three, I ended up watching Billy Elliot again on DVD (and falling asleep on the couch halfway through).

Sigh.

&%@( %$#& $!(*&

My boss just walked in and the above chaos represented the quick move I made to close my document plus the profanities I muttered in so doing.

Hahaha! For someone who just announced to the world that she didn’t care about this job, I just contradicted myself big time didn’t I? What an idiot!!!

Seriously, I don’t care if I lose my job. I just don’t wanna be caught not doing my job during office hours.

That said, I’m possibly gonna start looking for a new job soon. A job which I hope would end my never-ending job-hopping. Perhaps a change of vocation would be good. Honestly, I’m sick and tired of this law business. Maybe I’ll work in retail next, or F&B, or direct selling. Need Amway, anyone??

12 comments:

A Babe Of Very Little Brain said...

come work where i work. once you're in, you can never get out. i should know, been stuck here 6 yrs despite wanting to leave for the past 3 yrs.

Manal said...

Ye laa i am looking forward to the day when my current job will be my passionate hobby....

Direct selling? only if u love meeting and persuading people around and piling stocks of merchandise at home.

Marry a filthy rich young man and join the tatlers. Cud be boring too meeting the same old snotty ladies sharing hubby gossips and female vultures who are chasing ur hubby.

Now, where was i?

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

sue,

you like writing? join a newspaper (but remain a blogger-- can tell u, some reporters at the NST are bloggers) or a magazine.
there is a dearth of good writers.

i was with NST for 27 years. in those years there were offers to join a couple of multinational/oil companies. was never interested even though the money offered was like 3X of what i was earning at the NST.
no, wasnt crazy to turn down damn good offers. i loved my job, i loved the people i worked with.
that's why even though i have left the NST, most of the guys and gals there are still so dear to me.

i loved the environment and atmosphere of/in the newsroom. never got enough of it those years.

so, i dont know whether or not i can empathise with your predicament, of what you're going through. maybe i do, in a way.

but i know it aint fun when you no longer enjoy your work.

perhaps, sue. you need time off work. go to pangkor, or bali or phuket. or the mountains.

and oh dear oh dear... blogging on the job! Ayoyo, u think they can make a case against you and, you know.... give you the Sxxk?

Take Care and don't get caught blogging at work!

pugly said...

I can totally relate to your present predicament!

Hopefully this one will be The One for me, tak nak pindah-randah lagi dah - penat la dok job hop ni! :-P

Here's hoping you will find The One pretty soon, too!

elviza said...

Sue Sue Sue Sue....... (Sigh)

You know, I was once in your shoes. Arghrh, I can still remember the pain.

But someone say if you practise law, its like Hotel California - you can always check in but you can never check out. Seriously, I hope she/he is wrong.

One friend took half a year off and travel cheaply accross the globe. May be you should consider that my friend. Take you mind off things for a while.

Or alternatively, you take a week off and lepak at my office, then I also have reason not to work. You see, I must help a friend in need.

All said and done, you know what is best for you.

p/s: are you in your 7th year of practice? People say that can be a bad time.

zorro said...

Yes, take Elviza's advice.....take a break, kick off your shoes, let your hair down, get out of the office....get out of the box...talk trash, you are experiencing the plateau period in your work...go join Elviza for her compulsory cup of coffee at Starbucks. Or come for mee rebus with the bloggers on Tuesday.

Typhoon Sue said...

babe:
tak mo ah macam tuh... i suka yg masuk senang, kuar lagi senang... :)

manal:
where were you?
you were trying to find me a filthy rich young man

nuraina:
thanks for the kind words. if only blogging pays the bill...

pugly:
I'm so jealous at you right now. Dpt keje baru gaji baru semua baru, jelesnyerrrrrr!!!!!

elviza:
i did that before i started work in this current firm. somehow it wasn't enough...
7th year? errr... as a matter of fact, yes. how'd u know?

zorro:
coffee sounds good. but it'll give me migraine before i finish half a cup... *sigh*

the kimster said...

Most of us are not thatlucky and end up being paid doing what we love. More often than not, it's something which we tolerate half of the time and positively hate the rest of the time. In most cases, work is just something necessary to pay the bills.

If you can afford the luxury, go and do what you love. Another option is to have enough distractions in life so that it is a little more bearable.

You are good in writing, so that's one way to channel your energy.

elviza said...

Because I can read between the lines Ma....ask Clark Gable

The only thing is that, about 4 years ago, I follow my insane guts and open up my own practice. None the wiser. But time wise, I am happier. Got to choose what I want to do and get rid off the crazy filessss!!!

Why dont we talk about this over coffee when you are free? Name me the place and time, I ll join you my friend. Dont worry, I m quite normal, he he he

The Blueberry said...

Sue, you are so lucky you can write all this without the fear of having your employer find out! I wish I have this luxury, but nooo, there are too many people from The Office who reads my blog, and heaven forbid but I think the MD himself knows of my blog's existence via his trusty aides. Eeeekkk!!!

Like Babe with Little Brain, I too have been wanting to leave for years, but am still stuck here for five years already now. I get promotions and pay rise (although very meager) and all but the job satisfaction, the passion and the interest is not there. Prior to this job I was happily working in a newsroom. In fact I was too happy they had to occassionally kick me out of the office screaming because I don't take a lot of days off and I always stay back until very late!

I totally understand how you feel (although I don't job hop) and I empathise. Hey, if you ever decide to hang out with Elviza, count me in! I'm not clever enough to join in lawyers chit-chat but when it comes to raving and ranting about life's frustrations, I'm a bit of an expert (aren't we all). LOL.

Typhoon Sue said...

elviza:
normal huh? not the usual grumbletilskin who stays at home all day bitching about injustice?
hahaha

blueberry:
actually, these are some ppl at my office who reads my blog. I don't think my boss knows though. but like i said, i don't care abt this job, so i don't care if he knows

yea, we are all experts at that!

Typhoon Sue said...

kimster:
thanks kimmy dear. I totally agree. in the beginning this was something i loved doing. Now, it is just a chore.

until i find what i really want to do, i guess I'm stuck here for a while. and while I'm here, distractions such as this is a blessing.