Monday, June 11, 2007


Friends come and go, they say.

It’s easy to make friends when you were kids. You play together, jump together, laugh together and fight each other. And the next day, you do the same things all over again. No hard feelings.

As adults, things are not quite that simple. If a friend screws you over, chances are, he or she will never be your friend again. Perhaps some of us will somehow find it in their hearts to forgive and forget, but to many of us, we’ll carry grudges to our graves.

Given the fact that human beings come in all shapes, sizes, sounds and styles, it is little wonder that at times, even the best of friends can be at loggerheads. Personalities clash, it’s only human.

But if we let these little spats divide us, we’ll change friends faster than F1 cars change tyres. So, being mature adults that we are, we understand that nobody’s perfect, not even ourselves, and therefore we tolerate each other and we make allowances for our friends’ shortcomings and hope they’ll do the same to us. And then life moves on.

There may however come a time when, no matter how tolerant we have been thus far, our friends may still drive us up the wall on regular basis. That’s when we decide that we can’t take much more of this. And we'll snap.

I know I will. Soon.


Manal said...

I hear u, sue. There're a lot of things that u wrote that resonate with me too.

To me, it's ok to be a bit selfish and self-absorbed but also thoughtful and generous whenever necessary. Once bitten, twice shy. We tend to be more selective to socialise with whomsoever we feel comfortable with and take necessary precautions while trying to remain professional to those work colleagues if thats what it takes. Then there are those whom we know during those age of innocence years and university years that we may still be attached with or may no longer be friends much. Some are still excited to refresh the old bonds while others got awkward or pretend to forget or sincerely have erased most of their memories of their yesteryears friendship.

Susah mau cakap kan. But the bottomline is, and like u've said it earlier, friends come and go. Sometimes we dont need to dwell much on the past and move on with new people around us. But there are also times that old friends are not just for keepsakes but also the ones who have known us in good times and bad times and have taken us as who we are. So long as we know where we draw our lines, being a little bit careful works well with me.

kimster said...

The funny bit about friendship is we all grow up, grow apart and drift away from each other. The next thing you know, you have nothing in common with them anymore.

It's sad, but that's the nature of the beast.

elviza said...

Dearest Sue,

Ah, life's like that. Hang in there. Patience, as I often heard, is virtue.

J.T. said...

You know.. sometimes some friendships, as much as we try to salvage and make them last, will not survive. Some die a natural death (just drift apart) and some end after a spat.
It takes two to tango. Some people push to make it end. When it becomes a one-sided affair, it won't last.When two people are forgiving and move on, the friendship stays. Just my two cents worth and speaking from experience lah.

I hope whatever you are facing will be resolved. As sister Elviza said, "hang in there".

Stephen said...

Hmmm, i guess its a way of life, well, thats what's going thru to us too, there were four of us, n only 2 of us that trying our best to keep in touch with each other, try to get an up-date or a met-up, and not to mention, giving some help in the $$ department. But, all this gesture were taken for granted, no sms replied, calls not answered, etc... well, after we are only "Kamasus" - kawan masa susah.... only when there r in deep shit, then we r in their priority list....
hehehe.... sesi meluahkan perasaan nie nampaknya.... well, life goes on!

Typhoon Sue said...

ya. it's difficult to say. i treasure old friends bcoz they're the ones who know me best but sometimes, even old friends can turn foe. That's when you feel a sense of loss and regret.

true. back in school i had friends with whom i pledged friendship forever and all those crap. Now, many years later, i can't even remember their full names, let alone their whereabouts.

I'm hanging, I'm hanging

resolved, i think not. like I said to manal, it just leaves me with a sense of regret thereafter.

That's okay stephen, luahkanlah perasaan you.... hahahaha
I'm listening

kimster said...

friendship forever?
that's amusing concept :)

namy said...

Hi, Sue,

Like you said friends come and go. I wish I have friendships that will last but being alone has always been my agenda. If I am not married, I am doomed to be alone FOREVER. Now I am married, my hubby works shifts, like I said before alone is my agenda.

Met a group of guests who are regulars, come to the restaurant I work, they always have a get together as often as they can to catch up. I always envy whenever I see them together. Well some people can have their cakes and eat them.....

Typhoon Sue said...

yea, it's a concept all kids believe to be true. As adults we know there's no such thing.

you must be a loner by nature. nothing wrong with that. I am too, but lately, even if I enjoy being alone, people will make a big deal out of it. I don't know why. maybe I'll blog about it in the future.

Friends can enrich you. But friends can also give you big headaches. That's life