Thursday, August 23, 2007

TAGGED: Blonde Bimbo Moments

I have been tagged by Makji Esah for my blonde bimbo moments. Now, while I pride myself to be a smart, savvy, sharp, shrewd, slick, sly, intelligent, cunning, brainy, brilliant, astute, gifted, knowledgeable, nimble, clever, witty,… (okay, I’m running out of adjectives to describe myself here…).. , I do have to admit, rather sheepishly of course, and without disclosing anything too humiliating, that every once in a while, not that it happens often but it does happen once in a blue moon so to speak… (notice how I’m dilly-dallying here?)… I have had my fair share of blonde bimbo a.k.a stupid-dum-dum moments. I would attribute that to hours of staring at the idiot box, in particular, watching Spongebob. Spongebob makes me act stupid. Ooops, did I just use the words ‘me’ and ‘stupid’ in the same sentence? Oh no!

Ok. Enough of that. Let’s get right to business. My blonde bimbo moments. There is no rule to this game izzit? All the better. Here goes.

Blonde Bimbo Moment No.1

Like Makji and I suppose, like most other women, I was a very naïve young girl once. Err…Who am I kidding? I am still a naïve young girl now! *Pulls legs closer together* *Sits up straight* *Acts demure* *Tunduk malu-malu*

Sungguh! Tak tipu! Tak caya sudah.

Anyway, back to the story. As a 7 year old, I already knew about the birds and the bees. In those days, this was considered advanced. These days, kids know about the birds and the bees from their pre-school!

What I meant by knowing about the birds and the bees is that, I knew as much as what I could get from books. I didn’t understand how it worked in the practical sense. I had a collection of science books and encyclopedias at home that I always spent hours reading. The books say, babies are created when a man’s sperm enters a woman’s body through her vagina. They never elaborated on HOW it enters the woman’s body.

In my naïve kiddy brain, the sperm comes out at night when everybody’s asleep (much like monsters under my bed) and enters the women nearest to him. That’s why married people sleep together, so that the sperm goes to the wife and nowhere else.

It wasn’t until I went to boarding school at 13 that I found out the whole story. Oh, so THAT’S how! And after that, everytime I see a pregnant woman, I’d go, “Aha! What has she been up to lately???”.

Okay, I’ll admit, child naïveté and blonde bimbo thingy are 2 very different things, but we all have to start somewhere, even bimbos.

** I noticed that when people talk about blonde bimbos moments, they always stick to the ones referring to sex and bodily functions. Why, ah? Let’s talk about something else then.

Blonde Bimbo Moment No.2

There was a time when I was going to court and outstation on a daily basis, my car was my 2nd home. I had all sorts of things in there, clothes, shoes, food. Heck, I’d install a toilet in there if I had the space!

Anyway, one day, as always, I was rushing to court in the morning, and I parked my car at Kg Baru LRT station in order to take the train. Changed my driving shoes to my court shoes and off I went.

After my case was called up for mention, the Judge stood it down until 11 am for the hearing. So I waited outside the courtroom, just sitting idly watching people pass by and looking at the floor when all of a sudden I saw something I couldn’t believe my eyes. On my left feet was a black shoe and on my right was a brown one. Hell! I have been walking around for 2 hours wearing mismatched shoes!

I contemplated leaving it as it was since it was almost 11 am, but decided against it because I was already feeling so self-conscious about the whole thing. So, I dragged my 10 inch thick briefcase (you know, the big black one with a trolley that lawyers always drag all over the place?) all the way back on the LRT to Kg Baru and back again to court. I could’ve just left that heavy bag in court but I needed something to cover my shoes, so I had no choice. Came back to the courtroom just slightly after 11 am and got a scolding from the judge for being late. Didn’t tell her the truth of what happened though, I’d sound too stupid.

Blonde Bimbo Moment No.3

At some places in Thailand, they accept Malaysian currency. So, one time when I was there, I bought fresh buah Tai (I don’t know the proper name for it, some say sea coconut, some say palm fruit, but we all know it as Nata De Coco) from a street vendor. She said Ten Baht per pack (which is equivalent to RM1). I took two and in my usual blur sotong kind of way, I gave her twenty Ringgit instead of Bahts, and walked away. Took me a few minutes to realize my mistake and of course by the time I went back, the seller was nowhere to be seen. Luckily it was just 20 bucks. Still, it would have been much cheaper to buy the processed Shamu Nata De Coco in heavy Syrup at Carrefour than to buy the fresh one like I did.

Blonde Bimbo Moment No.4

Was driving home up north on my own one Chinese New Year and heard on the radio of the massive jam at Rawang and Bukit Beruntung. “At a standstill” was what Patricia Patrick said, so I decided to take the back roads thru the MRR. Wanted to go onto the highway at Tanjong Malim or somewhere to avoid the jam, but I wasn’t prepared with maps or anything like that to take the trunk roads. Worse, I didn’t even know whether the names of towns and places I saw on the road signs were heading to or away from the highway. (Signboards should state clearly, THIS WAY to PLUS highway, THIS WAY to the jungle). So, I just drove and drove and drove, digging myself deeper and deeper into the grave, and I ended right smack in some very very big and scary plantation in the middle of some God-forsaken place in the middle of nowhere. Even worst, my fuel tank was nearing zero and there was no petrol station in sight!

I thanked my lucky stars when I finally came across a quaint looking petrol station just before my car ran out of fuel. I managed later to get out of the trunk roads and onto the highway just before reaching Ipoh. And I arrived in Alor Setar 7 hours after leaving KL, without even being caught up in the jam! Goodness, I’ve never been so lost before. Can’t imagine being stranded ALONE in the middle of that plantation with no one in sight.

Hah! Itulah. Next time amik bas!

Blonde Bimbo Moment No.5

Let’s go back in the 90s when I first entered law school. Fresh out of school with no basic law training whatsoever (except all 8 seasons of LA Law, if u can call that training); after the first few lectures and my friends were bad-mouthing a particular lecturer who hated lawyers so much,

Friend: Did she ever practice (law)?

Me : Practice? Practice what? (As in Netball? Basketball? Football?)

Little wonder that after almost 8 years of working as a lawyer, I am still, just practicing.

----The End-----

Okay, so I have to admit further, these are the least humiliating stories. The rest are just for me to slap my forehead again and again every once in a while, and for you to never know. Kena jaga pride jugak wey… malu ah nak citer semua.

As usual, I don’t want to tag anybody, lest they are not happy to be tagged. But if I leave it open as always, then nobody would carry it out, except JT of course, I know she’s game (aren’t u dear?).

So maybe I’ll just hint at them, and if they want to do it, they’d come out. If they don’t like it, they can pretend they never read this entry (they way I pretended not to have read Makji Esah’s Turkey Trip Tag last week and even lied about it thereafter! HAR! HAR! HAR! Pecah ghosia!!!!!)

So, these are the few unlucky or blessed (depends on how you look at it) F*R*I*E*N*D*S whom I am tagging:-

The one in Germany who doesn’t normally shy away from tags
The one in Ulu Dengkil who left the old job there and went back after a month and now wants to be Prime Minister.
The one who is ‘comel sangat’ and loves ciplak-ing.
The one who is limboing the bimbo (and who never did the first tag I sent him many moons ago)
The one who works with HIV + and AIDS patients and comes in here every once in a while.


Pi Bani said...

Hi there,
Just dropping by to say I didn't read this entry... (this is something equivalent to "mak kata dia takde kat rumah!!")

Crash Test Mom said...

"In my naïve kiddy brain, the sperm comes out at night when everybody’s asleep (much like monsters under my bed) and enters the women nearest to him. That’s why married people sleep together, so that the sperm goes to the wife and nowhere else."

u just gave me an idea on how to tell my kids! brilliant!

Typhoon Sue said...

Pi Bani:


Crash Test Mom:

Told ja I'm brilliant.
*rolls eyes*

pugly said...

No wonder I find you 'ngam'. You're just as spastic as I am :-P

Laman said...

not sure if u had seen this, but ni baru bimbo moment.. hehe..

Typhoon Sue said...

Takes one to know one. Glad to see u are not hiding ...

lawak siot!

J.T. said...

Hi Sue

Oh dear... blonde, bimbo moments. I know I have had several but I cannot remember them...maybe I choose not to remember them. :D

OK, I am game ... just give me a few days to do it. I have korek my memory. By the way, I am now living in the States.

Your mixed up shoes episode is quite an experience, huh? I know I had one of those before but cannot remember how it happened. see! I choose to forget those events

Laman said...

OMG!! The latest Blonde moment!!hahahaha......hahahahah.....
Miss Teen South Carolina 2007

A Babe Of Very Little Brain said...

i'm not a blonde, i'm a brunette. but, that makes me more of a bimbo than a blonde.

oh by the way, did you just happen to tag me??

*cekak pinggang*

Typhoon Sue said...

oh! so THAT'S why u were on partial hiatus... nak pindah rupanya. Ok, so now that u're back home in the old US of A, pls do the bimbo thingy soon wokeh!

aiseh...can't open plak le.. later I'll check this vid.

yes, babe yg comel sangat, i tagged you. kenapa cekak pinggang? nak cari gaduh ye?

*singsing lengan baju*

ubisetela said...

*first time here*
that bimbo moment #1, samalahhhhhh kita!!

A Babe Of Very Little Brain said...

eh takdela. saja suka cekak pinggang yang svelte ini.

nanti bila ada inspirasi saya akan buat ye. (it shouldn't be difficult really, every moment of my life is a bimbo moment).

Typhoon Sue said...

mai la selalu ye!
i think everybody have that moment #1 becoz we were all innocent once.

eleh... nak tayang pinggang ramping kunun.....

*menjuih bibir*


vesewe said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
fargoman said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
aston said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
yuking said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
reek said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
miya said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
coolooc said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
konek said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Typhoon Sue said...

Vesewe aka whatever the hell your name is, all recycled materials I see. Not very original are you?


moo said...

GPS would be good for blonde moment 4. In fact, I would hardly call it blonde moments. I will call it scarry moments. :)

Typhoon Sue said...

yea. it was scary alright
thanks for visiting