Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Let's Have A Baby!

My friend W suggested a few days ago that I adopt a child. I almost fell off my chair when I heard that. W said she had resolved many many years ago that if she’s still single by the time she hit age 30, she’s adopting a child. So she’s doing it now and wants me to do the same, preferably taking a child of the opposite gender to hers so that when they grow up we can marry them off and be ‘berbisan’.

What the bloody hell?

I have to admit, the thought never crossed my mind at all. I do not know where she got it from. W, as far as I know is someone who is exactly like me in a lot of ways. She enjoys being single and she is independent and headstrong and completely comfortable in her own skin, warts and all. So it came as a surprise that despite her cherished independence and fancy-free lifestyle, she wants to adopt a baby.

W told me matter-of-factly, “Sue, don’t get me wrong, I don’t need to get married. I don’t need a husband. I just want to be a mother”.

Well I’ll be damned. “Are you sure you’re not just trying to be Angelina Jolie?”

“No lah! I’ve always wanted to have a child and since I’m not getting married anytime soon, I don’t want to wait for that to happen before I become a mother”.

“Oh, okay then”.

“What about you, Sue?”.

“Hell NO! I don’t think I have it in me to be a mother, married or not. I lack the patience and I’m too selfish to take care of anyone but myself. Besides, I value my sleep too much”.

“Hmmm…”

So that’s the end of the subject for me. But for W, her new life is about to begin and she’s pretty excited about it.

Surprised as I am at her decision, I am slowly beginning to understand it. She is not desperate or lonely. She is not doing this for the companionship or to compensate for her not having a man. She is doing this simply because she really wants to have a child. And I think it’s noble of her not to place an emphasis on having her own flesh and blood. After all, with the number of orphaned and unwanted kids out there needing parental love, people should really start thinking beyond preserving their own genes and accept these kids and love them unconditionally. For this, I think any child would be very lucky to have W as a mom.

I’m glad that W is confident enough to do it on her own. I have nothing but respect for single mothers. My own mother is a single mom who had raised her 5 children single-handedly. And so I have no doubt W too, can be a good mom in her own way.

I just hope that she won’t be asking me to baby-sit.

15 comments:

Kak Teh said...

Sue, this thought did cross my mind when I was starting out in life as a journalist. With Fatimah abu bakar - my partner in crime - we did an assignment at an orphanage. Both of us wanted the babies to hold and share our love with them. So, we enquired - but our hopes were dashed - that time they said - we needed to be married to adopt -haiyaaa! of course, we then got married and raised our own families.
Sue, it is a noble thought... I would have done the same if I can afford to look after more children. I just love babies even if they are not mine.

penang-kia said...

excuse me!why am i laughing,ar?
is this entry supposed to be label under "jokes"?
anyway,you are hilarious!lol
have a nice day!

Typhoon Sue said...

Kakteh:
sometimes it's the red tapes that prevent people from helping others. too bad isn't it?

yes it's a noble thing to do. and of course, all babies are cute,... when they're happy that is..... :-)

Penang-kia:
if u say so, sir/maam
:-)

Pi Bani said...

Yep, babies are cute alright - when they go goo goo gaga... they chuckle... they smile... cute sangat-sangat.

Then they start to melalak... (and this is the part where I'm trying to imagine Typhoon Sue babysitting!) ;)

Typhoon Sue said...

pi bani:
hehehe.... and that is the part where my parenting skills, if any at all, would pale sickeningly in comparison to britney's spears'

Manal said...

But then, angelina jolie upped her male-magnet persona after adopting maddox the cambodian lad?

What happened to her sexual (fitrah) desire? lost in the space too? or too broody to even care about her own desire? is this motherhood some sort of self-esteem boosting paraconsciously having had the notion that marriage is no longer something of a future planning to hold on to?

I pon takleh cakap byk on this because even married couples are not guaranteed future offspring of their own and would resort to child adoption as well. With the latest hormone technology that allows any full grown woman to produce breast milk and all, I suppose adopting a baby would be of the in trend.

Takpon, boleh jadikan anak angkat as anak sedara susu by giving it to her sister who is still lactating.

PS: teringat kisah woody allen who married his own adopted child.

Typhoon Sue said...

manal, as far as i know, she hasn't given up on men. So, as far as marriage is concerned, if there's jodoh, she would go gown that road. But for now, she just can't wait to have a baby to call her own. She had always loved babies but I had always thought that, like me, she just like babies when they are happy and smiley. Little did i know that she actually cannot wait to have one herself.

And no, I don't think it is a self-esteem boosting thingy. She just love kids.

a babe of very little brain said...

do you know that one of the best things about babies, or rather the best moments with babies (even if the babies are not yours) is when they look you in the eye and give that sweet sweet smile?

segala sakit kepala, their past tantrums semua akan hilang.

you just live for that moment.

Hjh Esah Jolie said...

****cakap sensorang*****
I nak beranak dgn David Beckham, sampuai ke mati kaya dgn duit child support kan?

Hehehehehe ****gelak sensorang****

Typhoon Sue said...

BABE:
Ya babe, actually i do know that, it's that moment just before they let go of that thing that needs to be released down at the bottom.... and then u have to clean it all up
:-)

MAKJI:
berangan la ko sorang2 makji...
:-)

a babe of very little brain and 10 truckloads of patience said...

actuallykan, babies' poop kinda wangi.

i don't mind cleaning them up. in fact, i've actually picked up fallen poop from floors with my bare hands.

Typhoon Sue said...

babe:

wangi? dear god!
i suppose all mommies are like you la kan? when the maternal instinct kick in, nothing will repulse you. I, on the other hand, are not in that zone, nor will i ever be.

NJ said...

You are witty...:D

No wonder I got hooked to your blog...

Typhoon Sue said...

NJ:
why.... thank you NJ.

u're not bad yourself, just have to be a bit more rajin in updating ur blog that's all... :-)

J.T. said...

Hi Sue

I take my hat off to W for being so confident about adopting a child as a single person. It is not easy raising a child alone, as you have already seen and experienced - being part of it. Single moms are phenomenal.

I believe this new venture in life will make her stronger and despite occasional hardships (which is bound to happen), she will find motherhood fulfilling. It's what she wants, she will make it work. All the best to W.