Thursday, November 22, 2007

Random Ramblings Not Worth Reading # 8

When I was a kid, my siblings often found pleasure in teasing me that I was adopted. Stupid that I was at that time, I believed every word they said.

One sibling would say I was picked up from Papua New Guinea (why PPG, I have no idea, and stupid me, I didn’t even realize that I look nothing like anyone from PPG). Another would say someone found me near a trash can in town. Someone else would later say that they picked me up from a remote orang asli village in the jungles of Gua Musang. The creativity mind you, was limitless.

The stories would change so often but their laughter remained the same. They found it hilarious that I believed it and would be so affected by it that they teased me even more.

As outrageous as it may have been to an adult with full brain processing capacity, the stories were in fact plausible and believable to the tiny bird brain of a 4 year old. Thus the reason why I was often found cowering in a corner somewhere, feeling sorry for myself for being abandoned by my ‘real’ parents. At one time, I even packed my clothes in a suitcase, thinking that nobody loved me and that I should run away. While I was sobbing, I wouldn’t even believe my mum when she tried to assure me that I was her own flesh and blood. I don’t remember what happened after that, whether my siblings were reprimanded for severely taunting me or if they got away scot-free. My memories of that moment are rather hazy.

My then-teenage siblings never actually quit taunting me after that, at least not until I was old enough to recognize and point out that I look sebijik like them. Even so, every now and then they would drop hints or innuendos that made my self-doubt creep up again. This, of course, would be their idea of a fun time. Nasty buggers.

It does bring us to the question though, Why would it be so bad if you are adopted?

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with it. But kids being kids, being adopted equals being abandoned. The fact that someone loves you enough to take you as their own child is irrelevant.

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My father was himself an adopted child. He had 8 siblings, and when he was 7 years old, his aunty who was childless offered to adopt one of her sister’s children. My harried grandmother (possibly too tired to refuse) asked her kids if anyone would willingly want to be their aunty’s child. Guess who came forward then? My dad.

Suffice to say, he became the only child of his aunty, loved and pampered, and didn’t have to share anything with his siblings.

Now, that boy, my dad, nobody could ever taunt him about being anak pungut. After all, he volunteered!

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Anyway, this story was one of my favorites about my dad. At those times when my siblings were mercilessly teasing me about being adopted, I actually wished someone else who are childless would take me away so I would be their only child.

The irony of wishing to be adopted to escape the taunting of being adopted was somehow lost on me in those days.


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Have a good weekend everyone.

9 comments:

Hjh Esah Jolie said...

Anak angkat is better than ALN kan? Ala..you know...fatherless child...The idea of being anak angkat only occur to me when i kena bantai dgn my parents...hah..ni lah padahnya tgk cerita indon jaman dedolu tu (the one with Faradilla Sandy, the famous anak angkat..tangkap nangis punya) I then mulalah plotting nak bawak diri..to find my real parents la kunun nya...hoping that my parents accidently terambik me from the hospital and I actually is anak Datuk tah memana...tak nak kalah..nak jadi anak Datuk pulak tu aku ni..cam siyalll kan? Well, at least you're not. Do ever wonder perhaps..depa (abang kakak u) yang sebenaq nya anak angkat?

namy said...

Sue,

I am adopted, only found out about it when I was about to get married, since you know need a wali for Akad Nikah ceremony. My late parents did not have the heart to tell me that I was adopted, though I was curious to know why my birth cert stated so. They always say that the Govt servant had written on the wrong form. Poor guy or gal, being blamed for nothing.

Now that I know, still love my adoptive family more that my "natural" family. They are the ones who brought me up and being the youngest in the family, I was treated like a QUEEN. Still misses my late parents like crazy since they were my only "natural" parents one can ask for.

Manal said...

My first brother did that to our 2nd brother quite some time when they were both kids just because the 2nd bro is the darkest of us all and he does look a bit different. Such incident did lower his esteem to the point of crying in the dark corner everytime he kena rotan by our parents thinking that it was true that he was actually adopted and that even his adek, 3rd brother also was quite fair and looks pretty much like any of us. Orang lain yang visit our house pon ade jer yg nak cakap, this one lain sikit kan?

Masa dia dah sekolah rendah, he went asking my mum: S ni anak mama ke? And to my mum's surprise, she said, "through and through" and then she explained to him that he actually took some looks from our dad's grandfather. Not long after that, we had our youngest sister and she did resemble him except that her skin is much2 fairer.

Kids can be so nasty,kan? taunting the gullible and meek ones was like so fun...!

Typhoon Sue said...

MAKJI:
no, i never wondered that my siblings were actually the anak angkat. It was 4 teenagers against a little me, I didn't have the chance to think of anything else.

NAMY:
yes, I hear ya. REAL parents are the ones that love you and raised you and were always there for you, not necessarily the ones who gave birth to u.

MANAL:
i understand completely what your bro went thru. Trauma woooo....
dah le kecik, asyik kena buli dgn abang2 dan kakak2 yg besar bagak tu. Tensen giler masa i kecik dulu.

Yes, Kids are CRUEL!

a babe wif nothing much to do said...

i wonder if there's any connection between previous post and the current one.

*grin*

J.T. said...

Your question, "Why would it be so bad if you are adopted?"

I guess a child sees it as not belonging to the family besides what you mentioned - "being abandoned".

Speaking from personal observation ... the child does, however, appreciate and love the parents who bring him/her up but will always have questions about his/her natural parents (if they have never met).

Typhoon Sue said...

Dear 'A Babe Who Should Update Her Blog',

Ada la connection tu. I pick up one word from the previous post, and make up a whole new post based on that one word.

Now for my next posting, i shall pick up which word ah? kid? tease? a-ha, stupid!

Dear JT;
adopted kids would always wonder why. it's not about whether or not they're happy with their adopted family. it's about ur natural desire to know your heritage and to connect on something more physical; ie: bloodline

pugly said...

Mind, some anak pungut is waaaaayyy better than some anak kandung.

(Apsal semua orang pakat bubuh comment moderation nih?)

Typhoon Sue said...

PUGS:
selalunya, anak angkat lebih appreciative of the parents love because they know they have been chosen by the parents themselves.

ala... kena moderate sbb byk serangan anasir2 tak baik la nih. kita dok sembang pasal lipas, diaorg mai cakap pasal government and politics. Bosan ar.