NOBODY MOVE! I’ve drop'd mi brain.

I’m telling ya, that Captain Jack Sparrow is a hoot! He’s kooky and he’s floosy and he’s one of a kind. Ain’t nobody like him, that Jack. I have to admit, the only reason I would go watch Pirates of The Caribbean: At World’s End is because of him.

Loved Johnny Depp to bits since his 21 Jump Street era. Loved him even more for Edward Scissorhands. Love him uncontrollably after Pirates of The Caribbean- The Curse of The Black Pearl. And the rest, as they say, is history.

Saw the movie last night, and although I was expecting to come out of it feeling happy and rejuvenated, I’m sad to say that halfway through, I was desperately wishing it would end.

The movie was too long and too complicated. At the end, I was left to wonder who did what to whom and a whole lot of other whys and hows. I wished everybody just stop discussing it and explain to me the whole thing in slow motion because somewhere along the movie, I got really really lost and was more confused than a Masai bushman in hollywood. In other words, I would say as Jack said it, “Nobody move, I’ve drop'd mi brain!”.

I wish At World’s End would have been shortened and simplified. That would’ve made for a much better watch. Scenes like Calypso’s emergence is totally unnecessary unless they expanded on it (which is not a good idea in an already too draggy a movie).

Davy Jones was his usual tentacled self. The attempts to romanticize his relationship with Tia Dalma, although not without merit, were a little bit icky for my taste.

James Norrington redeemed himself, at least to the lovely Miss Swann. But he could have been given a more dignified ending. He is after all, the one character in the movie that is straight as an arrow, both in terms of the law and morality.

Captain Barbossa was perfectly executed by Geoffrey Rush. This is a character we all love to hate.

Sao Feng, Chow Yun-Fatt’s widely publicized role, was somewhat a disappointment. He could do much more than his 15 minutes of fame in here. Under-utilized, that’s all I can say.

The wedding-- both proposal and ceremony -- in the middle of the battle was wayyyyyyy too cheesy. What were hell were they thinking????

The other characters are ok I guess. The cast members were so-so. I’m not crazy about Orlando Bloom. I’m not crazy about Keira Knightley either. But Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow, now, there’s the man whom everybody hate to love, but love him they do nonetheless.

And oh, Jack the monkey, he’s fabulous too.

Ratings: * * * * * * * * * *

To Kill A Mockingbird... I Mean,... Mosquito

In my last post, I mentioned something about ‘salting’ snails. Not salting as in making it a delicacy, but simply to kill the poor thing.

Some people may say it’s animal cruelty, but most simply shrug and say, “Yeah, whatever!”.

Truth is, we don’t really care about insects and shellfish. As humans we only care about ourselves. Even if we do care about animals, to most of us, that means only cats, dogs, rabbits, hamsters, guinea pigs, and sometimes even monkeys. We draw the line at snakes and lizards, and we certainly do not care if we step on a snail on its long journey home.

Okay, maybe I’m speaking for myself here, but I think most of us feel the same way.

I pride myself on being an animal lover. I love cats. I adore those cute little things called hamsters. I enjoy looking at fishes in a tank. But more often than not, I neglect to give them the proper care that they need. This is why I don’t have a cat at home, nor hamster. They wouldn’t last a week with me. The only pets I have, the fishes, are rather hardy. Otherwise they would have died a long time ago for starvation.

Animal lover that I claim to be, I don’t have any qualms about spraying the storeroom with a whole can of Baygon and watch cockroaches drop like flies, or crushing bugs with the heels of my boots, or scooping tadpoles out of the pond and onto the grass under the hot sun.

Yeah, some animal lover I am and I don’t even feel guilty about it.

But I'm not alone. There are so many people like me out there. And quite a few have gleefully admitted to this 'unhealthy' habit.

Babe put up this comment on my last post:-

“i used to make ants as food-offering to spiders.

i also liked to watch ants from different colonies fight each other.

oh, sometimes i cut up the ants punya perut and watch them walking around looking cacat like that.

but more recently, i simply pour hot boiling water on ants' nests.”

And The Blueberry said this:-

“Oh, BTW, I find great joy in spraying water from a hose onto a lipas and then watch it wiggle and run and try to find dry ground. Of course I will fight it (with my water hose la) until it drowns hahahahaaa... And I remember my science teacher telling me that ants can move in a line because they smell the ant before them. So what I used to do was eliminate some ants in the middle, tenyeh the tanah so that the smell is gone and watch the ants yang kat belakang-belakang tu sesat muahahahahaaaa!!!!”

See? These are all good people (really?), yet they have no problem with torturing ants or insects. Why is that? Is an insect’s life worth less than any other animal? Are they not God’s creatures as well?

That said, I have to tell The Blueberry that I do what she does to ants too. It's fun watching them panic. Though I have yet to cut out their perut or pour hot water on their nests like Babe does. (But u're so brutal babe, u rock!!!)

And while I’m at it, here’s another way to torture insects, in particular, mosquitoes:-

When a mosquito bites, as soon as it dips its muncung in (or whatever the hell you call that thing that cucuk your skin), stretch out your skin on both sides of the mosquito, thus tightening the skin around the muncung', thus trapping the mosquito in by its muncung, thus causing the mosquito to struggle to get out, thus giving you huge enjoyment watching the mosquito squirm ... that is till you start to itch really really bad, then you can tenyeh the mosquito and feel quite proud of yourself....

Any more tips on how to torture insects????

MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Errr…. SPCA is not gonna come after me for this, no?

Random Ramblings Not Worth Reading # 3

Busy Busy Busy

I have been rather busy these past few weeks. Work kept piling in as all of a sudden my boss remembered that i exist and decided to dump everything on me. I think this guy works according to planetary cycles or something. He kept hovering over me for the first few months I was here, dumping things on me and breathing down my neck and chasing me up and down the office, then he moved on to another associate, did the same thing to her and left me alone and relieved.

Just as I thought things are going on well, he’s back at it again. Things come in one after another and since I have to go out for meetings and stuff everyday, I haven’t been able to finish a damn thing. As always, when I’m most pressured to finish my work, I would always manage to make time to do something else totally unrelated to it—blogging, what else!

Lots of things need to be said, yet my lidah is so kelu untuk berkata-kata… Among other things, the royal wedding…. HUWAAAA!!!!!!!





Lazy Lazy Lazy

My colleague Naz asked me what I did over the weekend. I was momentarily at a loss at what to say to make my weekend sound special, but then decided not to lie after all. So I admitted to spending my entire weekend at home, eat, sleep and watch TV.

There you go. A weekend of intensive face-stuffing and channel-surfing -- I think I saw Heroes 3 times, CSI twice and Hollow Man, yet again. I’m sure I managed to put on another pound or two after all that. So, let’s skip the bath scale for the next few weeks now, eh?

Anyway, I was supposed to clean up my backyard because it’s so messy. But as expected, I found an excuse not to do so-- I ran out of garbage bags.

Hey! It’s a perfectly valid excuse what…

So, aside from couch-potatoing which I managed to do with flying colours, the only other thing I did was to sprinkle salt on the snails I found crawling in my frontyard--another one of my favourite pastime.

Escargot, anyone?

Neanderthals In Parliament

“Mana ada bocor, Batu Gajah pun tiap-tiap bulan bocor juga”

Some say, this is just men behaving like men. Others say, this is men behaving like cavemen. I tend to agree with the latter.

The MP who said it says it is just a joke and that there’s nothing wrong with it.

Really? A joke? Do you see me laughing?

Sadly, this type of insult disguised as a joke has existed for ages and men have been getting away with this for so long. Maybe it’s time that they all wake up and watch what they say.

No, it’s not about women being overly sensitive. It is about people respecting people enough not to make jokes about the physical appearances or bodily functions of the opposite gender, whichever it is.

And the fact that it happened in the august house that is the Parliament just saddens me to no end. Does the Parliament consist of Neanderthals?

During one of my shopping trips recently, I encountered two boys who were practically laughing to tears at the sanitary pads aisle. They were making some jokes about the womanly cycle and obviously thought that that was very funny.

I told them off and they ran away. Looking back now, I wonder if they are the MP's sons?

As we all know, Neanderthals breed Neanderthals.

Meanwhile, here’s the Press Statement made by the Bar Council Chairman over this issue.

PROMOTE GENDER SENSITIVITY IN PARLIAMENT

In 2006, Article 8(2) of the Federal Constitution was amended to prohibit discrimination against anyone on the grounds of gender. Prior to this Malaysia had acceded to the International Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of discrimination Against Women (CEDAW) in 1995.

As Malaysians, we have every reason to be proud that there was recognition by us as a nation that any discrimination on the grounds of gender was unacceptable and now in fact expressly prohibited. These moves were wholly in keeping with international human rights norms.

Against this background, the sexist statements reported to have been made by members of Parliament to the effect that another member of Parliament who is a woman "also leaks once a month" are most unfortunate. Worse,those who spoke the words apparently saw no fault in them, thus adding insult to injury.

The remarks made are offensive, distasteful and wholly unbecoming of members of Parliament. Unfortunately it reflects a mindset that remains despite the Government's official position of gender equality. Enacting laws is one way to ensure equality but no amount of legislating canremove deep-rooted prejudices that lie in the hearts and minds of the people.

Gender equality is a responsibility of all Malaysians. It is a responsibility that manifests in many ways. One is to work towards removing gender bias from our laws. Another is to ensure that gender bias does not exist in our conduct and that gender insensitive comments are eradicated from our vocabulary. If made, they should not be tolerated. We expect our Parliamentarians to lead the way in being gender sensitive in accordance with the letter and spirit of the Federal Constitution.

We must seriously pursue our desired objective that women may participate fully in the political, economic, cultural and social life of thiscountry, without having to tolerate discrimination.

Dated 11 May 2007

Ambiga Sreenevasan
Chairman
Bar Council

Happy Mother's Day

"Happy Mother's Day" means more

Than have a happy day.

Within those words lie lots of things

We never get to say.

It means I love you, first of all,

Then thanks for all you do.

It means you mean a lot to me,

And that I honor you.

But most of all, I guess it means

That I am thinking of

Your happiness on this, your day,

With pleasure and with love.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom.

PARIS

NO. Not that Paris.

This Paris.

She’ll be spending 45 days in jail starting June 5 for driving without a license.

HAHAHAHA!

People are talking about this for days now and as always, I’m a little behind. But better late than never, as they say.

Anyway, Paris Hilton’s publicist told her that it’s okay to drive with a suspended license if it is for work purpose. So she did. And she was busted. And now she’s going to the Century Regional Correctional Facility in LA.

HAHAHAHA!

And oh, the publicist was fired the day after.

The ‘mansion’ our dear Paris is moving into is much bigger than her current place. Check out this pic:-

HAHAHAHA!

In the meantime, her lawyers are working around the clock to appeal the sentence. And her fans are launching protests everywhere. And her friends started a petition to urge Governor Arnold Hard-To Pronounce-nagger to pardon her. Click here to view the Petition.

HAHAHAHA!

For all these people who spend their precious times protesting and organizing the “Free Paris Hilton” movement, I say, GET A LIFE!!!!!

Nonetheless, knowing how easy it is for celebrities to get away with things (remember OJ?), I’m sure she’ll not even set foot in that place. So, while the dear Ms Hilton is having sleepless nights worrying about having to trade in the $10,000 handkerchief she calls a tank top for the shabby prison jumpsuit that costs the same as a Big Mac, let me just savour this moment and continue rolling on the floor laughing like a monkey on cough syrup.

HAHAHAHA!

I'm Not Lost, Just Undiscovered!

I AM ABSOLUTELY IN LOVE WITH JAMES MORRISON

*Please disable the MP3 player at the side bar if you wish to play the video.*

UNDISCOVERED

I look at you, you bite your tongue
I don't know why or where I'm coming from
And in my head I'm close to you
We're in the rain still searching for the sun

You think that I wanna run and hide
I keep it all locked up inside
I just want you to find me
I'm not lost, I'm not lost, Just undiscovered
And when we're alone we’re all the same as each other
You see the look that's on my face
You might think that I’m out of place
I’m not lost, no no, just undiscovered

Well the time it takes to know someone
It all can change before you know it's gone
before it's gone
So close your eyes and feel the way
I'm with you now believe there’s nothing wrong
nothing wrong

You think that I wanna run and hide
I keep it all locked up inside
But I just want you to find me
I'm not lost, I’m not lost, Just undiscovered
When we’re alone we're all the same as each other
You see the look that's on my face
you might think that I’m out of place
I'm not lost, no no, just undiscovered

I’m not running
I’m not hiding
If you dig a little deeper you will find me

I’m not lost, not lost, undiscovered
And when we're alone we’re all the same as each other
You see the look that's on my face
You might think that I’m out of place
I’m not lost, no no, undiscovered

I’m not lost, not lost, undiscovered
And when we're alone we’re all the same as each other
You see the look that's on my face
You might think that I’m out of place
I’m not lost, no no, just undiscovered

CAUTION : Random Ramblings Not Worth Reading #2

The Holidays

What a fabulous break for everybody and a super long weekend for most! I almost thought that I didn’t have to come to work today.

Didn’t actually do anything much over the weekend, but I did learn a thing or two about a lot of things, and had a little fun along the way. So, that’s all that counts.

Enough of that.

The Old Washing Machine

The view from my office is super-clear today. Good. Perhaps it won’t rain and all my kain baju can dry out just nicely. Did my laundry last night; a total of 5 loads. My old washing machine was working overtime, I think I heard a loud crank sometime towards the end –oh no!

The last time a household appliance bailed out on me, it was the good ol’ fridge. The freezer compartment was not freezing things anymore, water was constantly dripping out, and the whole fridge stank big time. So I replaced that one with a nice new fridge which I immediately filled up with all things frozen; frozen pizzas, frozen lasagna, frozen roti canai, frozen currypuffs, frozen franks, frozen garlic bread, frozen chicken wings, and a host of other microwaveable things – the mark of ‘rumah bujang’.

That said, I think I could’ve lived without a fridge; after all, McDonalds’ and Pizza Hut’s deliveries are quite prompt and the delivery boys already know me by name. But life without a washing machine is something I can never imagine. I don’t fancy sending my dirty clothes outside of my house let alone let the dobi-man touch it, so I have no choice but to do the laundry myself at home. And that means, I must have a good, reliable washing machine. The loud crank I heard from my washing machine last night was probably an indication that something is about to give way. I better save some money in case it does, lest I start to smell like the cleaners at my office.


Biking

I haven’t been cycling in ages. My old mountain bike is rusting in my backyard. The frame still looks pretty good, but the chains are very rusty and the all the trimmings are badly damaged. I’m thinking of going out biking one of these days, so I have to get my bike in order. I’d have to replace the seat with a better, softer one that doesn’t make my bum sore, the handle grip with a fancy new pair, the chains with new well-oiled one, the gear, the reflector, the mud-guard, the pedals, the brakes, the…

I wonder if it’s cheaper to buy a new bike than to repair this one?

Vocabulary

Sometimes I feel I am sooooooooo blardy stooopid.

Was reading someone’s blog just now and I counted 13 unfamiliar words in his 200 words entry. So, I had to flip the pages of my dictionary (no, actually I just clicked on dictionary.reference.com) 13 times in order to know the meaning.

But at least he wrote his piece pretty darn well, even if he made me feel so small while reading it.

Some writers, as I’ve discovered, seem to have neither a flair for writing, nor a good command of the English language, yet would so often throw in big big words just for added effect. It just doesn’t go too well together. Like Simon Cowell said, “It’s like eating chocolate ice-cream with onion”.

I think I used to have every word in the Oxford Advance Learners Dictionary in my vocabulary, but as years go by I seemed to have been using fancy words and phrases less and less. Now, I think my whole vocabulary has shrunk and is limited to only 9 words.

So, I’m jealous of those people who write so well, and make me check the dictionary 13 times.

But then again, however lousy I feel my English is, I’m sure it’s not half as bad as my boss’. He once buzzed me,

Boss: Eh, Sue… how to spell ver-chi-mel-lee?

Me: Huh? What?

Boss: Ver-chi-mel-lee…. You know…. Bihun?

Me: Oh…. you mean ver-me-sell-lee (also ver-me-chel-lee) ?
V-E-R-M-I-C-E-L-L-I

Boss: Hmmm? That’s what I thought.

Me: *Dalam hati* Yeah, right.