Once diagnosed with this fairly common but highly untreatable disease, the patient is doomed for life -- no amount of spanking, slapping, poking, prying or kicking of one’s ass or whacking of the head attached to the body attached to the ass would cause it to budge, except maybe if you put a bag of Ruffles chips on the dining table thus causing that ass to maybe, just maybe, move like a friction of an inch off the couch while the body attached to it maneuvers a long stick/pole to knock the bag of chips off the table and towards the ass.
Sometimes, in a rare occurrence, one leg (say, the right one) will exhibit a patellar reflex out of nowhere, perhaps subconsciously telling the body that it has had enough and wants to start walking again, and so the body attached to the lazyfatass starts to make a move when the other leg, the lazy left leg exhibits a paralytic syndrome where it absolutely refuse to budge.
It’s like the left leg doesn’t know what the right leg is doing, or vice versa. And eventually, usually, the lazy left leg wins.
No surprises there.
So, the lazyfatass remains on the couch for a while longer.
There is no remedy, no cure, no antidote of any kind for this lazyfatassitis.
The only way to get rid of it is to give it time, because in time, the lazyfatass will get couch-sores (much like bed-sores) and will have to snap out of it, even if only to relapse in the near future.
And so, we just wait and wait and wait…
And we wait some more.
**Lazy Left Leg is a title of a 2004 movie which incidentally was such a flop that only a couch potato lazyfatass would know about it.