Tuesday, June 30, 2009

F*R*I*E*N*D*S - Episode 3

A few months ago, a friend asked me for help. She was in some kind of trouble, having discovered that she is short of RM10,000-00 in the accounts she was handling at work. Her employer was threatening legal action and she had no choice but to turn to one of her friends for a loan.

The instant I received her text message on this, and knowing what I knew about her dire financial situation, I had a feeling that the money didn’t just disappear into thin air. My dear friend was either negligent in keeping the money safe, or worse, she had actually embezzled it.

Either way, she was at fault. As such, I wasn’t so quick to jump to her rescue.

But as I thought about it the whole day, conscience took over- I had to help a friend.

So I did what I thought was best- I asked no questions, fearing it would make her feel awkward, or worse, that she would confirm my suspicions, and I gave her only a percentage of the amount she asked from me, giving the reasons of my then lack of income as an excuse.

I felt guilty for not being completely there for her, but I had to put my interests first. RM10,000-00 is a lot of money to give away, and I would be stupid to hand it over knowing that there is a chance I would never get it back.

Whether she pays me back or not was not an issue but I did wish to know whether she managed to raise the funds elsewhere and solve that little problem of hers. So, I called her after a few days to ask how she was doing. She didn’t answer my call. I then texted her. She didn’t reply.

The next week, I tried again. Still, no response from her.

Rationalizing that if she had thought that I had turned my back on her, she probably wouldn’t wish to speak to me, I decided to give her some space. I let her be for a few months before I tried to contact her again. Still, no response, either by telephone, text message, or email.

At this stage, I have come to terms with the fact that she's avoiding me. I am so very disappointed with her.

The money I gave wasn’t such a big issue at all, as I have factored in a possible permanent loss when I decided on the amount. But as a friend, I genuinely do care, and even though I may have thought of the worst about her, I had no wish to see her in trouble. And so, her cutting me out like this makes me feel really sad. It was as if I was only good for a reason, and when I didn’t deliver, what point was there for her to keep me around? She obviously didn’t value this friendship as much as I thought she would. That thought made me want to cry.

I spent days thinking how unfair she had been to me, and then I remembered that I had, on occasions, cut my friends out and treated them the same way she is now treating me, for reasons not attributable to them at all, although money has never been as issue in those situations. But the fact of the matter is, alienating friends is an M.O. that is not exclusively hers. It was mine too.

Perhaps this is karma.

Perhaps, the universe is teaching me a lesson.

Perhaps I deserve this.

Or ... *light bulb blinking*, ....perhaps, my friend is in jail!


I feel a lot better now.